#969 - Sing :: Blur
“I can’t feel,
‘cause I’m numb.”
We all have coping skills, and default reactions, that have been developed over the years and become part of our particular make-up. Most of these evolve over time, honed due to circumstances, survival instincts, and the lifestyle(s) we’ve lived/lived through/live in. Some of thes are positive skills, and some of them, well, they are more akin to the baggage we carry our issues, fears and heartbreak around in.
I’ve created some positive ones in my life, I do know that, but my default - and not a shiny default - is to go numb.
Its as if my whole being goes into shut-down mode, gathering up all resources and holding them close inside, leaving me a shell that I suppose cannot be hurt (or fools itself into thinking it can’t be hurt). Once in that numb state, though, it is very difficult to pull out of so I tend to self-battle to not fall into that default place. Sometimes I can stop it.
Music,in all its incarnations, and often singing, often helps me in this (and in so many other things). One of the many reasons music has been, and will always be, so important to me.