Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Jackie's Strength

Jackie’s Strength :: Tori Amos

You said we were the real thing.”


Tori Amos’ first three albums hold enormous significance to my life, and are instant recall memory triggers anytime i listen to any songs from those albums. Those were the years of so much change and emotional chaos in my life.

Jackie’s Strength reminds me of my failed marriage, the second one, and how much damage it did to my heart. I wanted so much to be brave, to soldier through no matter what the cost to my self, because I had those childhood fantasy/dreams of family, of love, and of what I wanted marriage to mean to me.

I wanted the ‘til death do you part. I wanted the happily ever after. I wanted the real thing, and I wanted to be strong enough to make it work.

It doesn’t always work, and sometimes the real strength comes in knowing when to walk away. It just, well, there are emotional costs whenever something ends, and this is one of the songs from one of my personal times of emotional cost, and loss.

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